Sometimes, when tucking them into bed, I think, gosh, I haven't seen you guys all day. I'm with them, but I'm not always present. The source of my absence is a combination of busy motherhood: chores, making meals, picking up, keeping up with them, taxiing, homework, reading, and sadly, the use of technology on my end. I don't think I'm an over-user compared to others, but I shouldn't be comparing. I should be the best me I can be. It is easy to check Facebook, Google a topic, send a message, browse Etsy, read the front page of CNN... and get sucked in for ten minutes at a time. But that can happen once an hour. Truly. Nothing on there is so important that I be checking my phone that often. Why do we live with it constantly next to us? So, I am going to take a step back. They grow up too fast.
I vow to look my children in their eyes more, since I teach them to do the same. To be up to speed on their current events, rather than the world's. To answer them as promptly as I do my texts. To put my social media family on hold, instead of asking my own family to hold on another minute. Because, at the end of the day, I want to feel like I have seen them. I have heard them. That I have given them as much of myself as my "patience tank" allowed. Not so much for their benefit, but for mine. Then, I can retreat to adult time with visions of their sweet eyes looking back at mine, no matter how hard the day was.
A sentimental me will plop down on the couch after bedtimes, chat with my helpful husband, and...
open my laptop.
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