Our Life in Pictures

I always feel like I need to write a whole bunch.  Not this entry.  I'll let the pictures do the talking.  I mean, we do take a LOT of them...

Daddy runs a few times a week, and E loves to go with him.  It's a great break for me, and a special thing for them to share.

Speaking of special time, my devoted afternoons to Penn are making a difference.  He is improving in his personal transition.  Less jealousy, less in her face, less whining, more harmony.  Yes, I just used my new favorite word: Harmony.  

Reacting to getting a "hit" in Battleship.

Built Radiator Springs, just like I used to for hours with Beck when he was an only.  

"Played" Catan and Goochy said he "won for the most houses on water."

Went to the park.  Tried to get E to cross the wood bridge, but she didn't like that it moved when she walked.  She clung to my leg, which I thought was sweet.  She is fearless, so this took me by surprise.

Dancing at Oktoberfest.

Learning to "cheese."  It looks so awkward, but hilarious.

Boy does she love Beck!

Obnoxious Selfie!

She looks forward to this each evening... pretend driving the car in the driveway.  When B pulls in, she runs up to the car with her arms out for him to pick her up through the window.

Mixed reaction to the boots.  She's gotten better about shoes, but it can still be a mini struggle to get them on initially.  

Good thing we had a superPenn to take Mommy and E out to lunch.

Getting into girly stuff.  Feeds the baby, strolls the baby, then throws her.  Two out of three ain't bad.  

Beautiful downtown Charleston.  Old school night of a picnic and freeze tag on the square.  The best kind of nights.  

Tried out local college football.  Everyone did well all the way through halftime.  We decided to leave on a high note, rather than wait for the meltdowns.  Beck enjoyed the game, and the others enjoyed the band, cheerleaders, energy of the fans, and kettle corn!  

Dancing to the Lorax soundtrack with Daddy.

Sporting neve/hawk.  I can't tell you how many people commented on her cute pants at church.  Thanks, Aunt Kris and Uncle Bob.  If you experience a surge in sales, you're welcome.  

Um, I had to include this picture because this homemade Optimus Prime costume is freakin' impressive.  All cardboard.  Bob's brother made it.  He did an All-spark hunt for his son's birthday.  My boys thought it was awesome. Everlee followed five feet behind...  Curious, but a little freaked out.  

As promised.  The picture I referenced last entry.  Beck nursing baby "Pelly" when Penn was born.  It's cool to think E plays with that same doll now.  It meant a lot to little Beck at the time.  It helped him through his transition then, and it's helping her through hers now.  Awwww.  

She's come so far.  We've come so far.  

In our training, they prepare you for interactions with strangers' curiosity.  In two months, we have only had questions twice.  And both times were totally appropriate and respectful.  They just wanted to know.  One was an elementary school boy at the playground.  He said, "Is she your baby?"  When I answered yes, he continued, "Well, she looks different."  It was so innocent and honest.  I love kids.  I thought I handled it in a way he could understand.  I told him she didn't grow in my belly, she grew in another mom's belly.  He thought for a minute, "Did she run away?" Ha!  She's two.  But that made sense to him.  I chuckled, "No, her Mom couldn't take care of her, so I am."  And with that, he smiled and asked her to play.  The only other encounter was a kind grown man who had a lot of questions.  When he asked how long she's been home, he was shocked to hear me say less than two months.  "You'd never know.  She seems so comfortable with you."  That made my heart happy.   

She really has become attached to our/her family.  I get tears thinking of how far she's come in such little time. When we met her, she couldn't jump or do stairs.  Now, she gets "air" and goes up the stairs like a champ.  Of course, she slides down on her belly, like her brothers.  She searches for me if I'm out of sight, and she is allowing herself to lay on my chest for ten seconds or so.  Every hug is now full on with arms around my neck.  This child didn't rest herself on me at all those first two weeks.  Now hugs and small snuggles.  Amazing.  And all she (and all these children) need is love and attention.  It's both heartwarming and sad to think that's all they need.  

One Drained Duck

Everlee's transition continues to be fabulous.  She sleeps between 12-13 hours a day, nap included, and she will eat anything we put in front of her.  For example, last night we ate BBQ chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli.  We cut everything up as small as we can, mix it all together in a bowl, hand her a spoon, and she goes to town.  She definitely prefers to eat out of a bowl rather than a plate, because that is what she did at the orphanage.  It makes it easier for her to scoop.  And, she's not a fan of forks.

My sweet neighbor, Jan, walked over when we were outside last night to check on us.  I talked her ear off.  Our candid conversation really sums up how we've been.  In a nutshell:  More good days than hard days.  E's doing great, bonding is going well, but I'm simply exhausted.  Drained. I'd forgotten how busy this chasing stage is.  I have a new standard of cleanliness for my home.  It's low.  She adores Beck and the admiration is mutual, but she's hot and cold with Gooch.  She is appropriate at home for the most part, but her behavior isn't always appropriate when we're out and about.  Maybe over stimulation, or maybe she doesn't know how to act in some of these new situations.  Or maybe she's a spaz because she's two.  No matter the reason, we are handling her with love, attention, structure, and care.  But, I am tired.

I'm like a duck on water...  Calm on the surface, but paddling like mad to stay afloat.

And if you follow us on Facebook, you've read our battle with medication.  I'd like to announce, the one time dosage did make it down on attempt number two with force.  It was a WWF match in the house that morning.  It took two adults, a headlock, and multiple syringes of laced chocolate syrup.  If it was a cold, cough or fever, we would have let her ride it out given the fight she put up, but her belly issue can only be dealt with medically.  I had to set aside my emotions in the moment and do what we had to do. And thankfully, it's done.  Let's hope.

Lost pics from the last couple weeks:

Holding Penn's hand.

Early morning bug hunt.

Feeding her baby.  (Which was Beck's baby "Pelly" when Penn was born.  Anyone remember the photo of him nursing her ?  I'll search for it.)

Meeting Pops and Granny.

 

Surgery is Scheduled

Tuesday's appointment was indeed a long one.  Four hours start to finish with doctors.  Six hours start to finish with driving, parking, and registration.  Thankfully, like before, Everlee stayed intact with all the poking and prodding. She was punch drunk having missed her nap, so her friendly wave of "hello" was a bit more frantic and wide-eyed.  Her jumps of excitement and charming smile won over the hearts of each doctor, ALL whom commented on her activity level. This time was certainly easier because we found daytime childcare for Penn, a tremendous feat in itself, so he didn't have to tag along. Those of you living remotely near family who can help don't know how great you have it!  The boys had loads of fun going back and forth to Rolly Pollies kids' gym, with a friend and employee who was covering her split shift and babysitting for me at the same time, and it put this mama at ease.    

A revolving door of specialists met with patients like us and discussed the cases later in the evening:
~ The geneticist said her clefts were isolated, meaning they were not linked to any other medical issue or physical condition, as far as they could tell.
~ Pediatric Dental felt her bite was alined properly, despite the missing gums, teeth, and bone structure.  They were overall happy with the shape of her arch.
~ Facial Reconstruction agreed with dental and felt that closing her category IV palate would be routine and heal well.  They also seemed impressed by the lip repair done in China.  We have been from day one, too.  No visible scars and the peaks are even, not distorted.
~ Speech Pathology said she will pick up language at light speed.  We are already seeing this in respect to receptive skills or understanding.  The excessive drooling, she thought, was caused more by the upper lip than the open palate. Brent thought the same.  She's lacking muscle control and will have to be taught by us to suck the spit in.  That will come with time, gained control, and age enough to follow along.
~ ENT figured she probably had fluid in her ears because that issue is common with cleft, so we did a audiogram on another floor before we left.  They were right.
~ We did not meet with Oral Surgery, but suspected, and had confirmed by Facial and ENT that she will need an additional bone graft down the road.  She has a long road ahead of her from a dental standpoint.  Without gums or bone structure, she will have multiple procedures and surgeries to create teeth in the places they are missing.  I think we know someone...

Yesterday, Wednesday, I received a call from the surgery office to schedule her date for initial cleft closing and tubes in the ears.  These people are prompt!  They did what they said, jointly discussing all cases Tuesday evening, and made a plan!  Surgery date is Thursday, October 24.  The procedure itself will last about three hours.  They did not give us a time, as that is determined only days out by patients' ages.  The younger patients and elderly go first, the healthy adults wait until later in the day.  Who can go longer without food is what it boils down to.

Recovery time is 2-3 weeks.  They say she'll be uncomfortable even drinking the first week.  Strict soft diet the following two weeks.  And the kicker:  No thumb sucking during recovery or the palate will tear apart.  She sucks her thumb all night long.  All night long, peeps.  I just checked on her and it's in her mouth right now... We're going to have to get creative with that one!

Here's the sassy girl waiting for Penn earlier in the day at gymnastics.  Her little sprout has prompted another nickname from Daddy: Cherry Bomb.

I'm in such a great place with pretty E this week!  God has been patient and gracious with me.  Thank you for all the personal support, well wishes, and questions asking how this appointment went.  

  

Sweaty Magnolias

The season started off strong for our soccer studs.  Beck really surprised us and kept up with the ball the entire game.  He was all over that field.  He hustled and had fun, which was all we could ask for.

Gooch, the more physical of the two, held back a bit and gave up at times.  How about a role reversal for these brothers!  Since we upped Penn to an older division, he now had a goalie to contend with.  He ran back to us on breaks and complained about the "person on the other team blocking my goal."  Welcome to U6, kid.  He was aggressive, but not always appropriately.  He made faces and audible comments of frustration during his game, entertaining onlookers but slightly embarrassing his parents. Although the smallest out there, he had no qualms about holding up the other players.

Later in the evening, we spent some family time at Magnolia Plantation.  Walked around the grounds, checked out the animals, gawked at a fancy wedding, and ran through the horticultural maze.  We've done it a dozen times, but it never gets old.  The boys wanted us to time them, and E got a big kick out of hearing their excited voices but not being able to see them.  She kept putting her arms out, questioning "where?" 

  

After making it "in" the first time, she stayed with Brent and me by the center statue anxiously waiting for her brothers' continuous return, as they retraced their steps three more times.  

Then came some sibling pictures.  Can't you tell how thrilled they are to pose?!  

As she sweated, her growing hair got stuck to her forehead. I took the permanent hairband from my wrist (the just-in-case one all moms have handy for when they're ready to pull their hair back) and made her first side pony!  

Holy.  Cuteness.  

Thank goodness for whispies, because her hairline in further back than most balding men's.  

Masked Maniac

Everlee has been seen by the International Adoption Clinic at MUSC, but to have all of her referrals approved, we had to be seen at the base.  The base pediatrician felt that E needed a breathing treatment.  Cue funny pictures of E in a mask.

The staff commented on how busy she was.  Ummm, yeah. Welcome to our life.  Thankfully, those blue gloves kept her occupied for a few minutes.  

Everlee's multi-discipline evaluation at the Cleft Clinic is this Tuesday.     

  

Soccer Studs

Practice started tonight! They play at the same time on different fields.  Everlee stayed with Daddy and watched Beck.  I went with Penn and watched him try to keep up with the big kids.

They sported their Togo jerseys Brent brought home from his mission trip two years ago.
Before:

After: 

This series tells the story of the moment, the battle of photo taking, and each personality.  

Penn ~ preventing E from holding the water bottle just because.  

E ~ forever persistent in trying to get it.  

Beck ~ increasingly annoyed with the situation and with waiting. 

She got the bottle.  Penn cheesed it up.  And Beck's face says it all.   

 

Gyro Break

With the go ahead from our social worker, both Penn and Everlee started Mom's Morning Out/Child's Day Out at a local church today.  I needed these four hours to regroup. Penn was so pumped talking about "school" last night, bragging to Beck how he didn't get to go too.  Emerging from the shower, Penn asked if he could get dressed and go right then!  He was excited to see his friends from last year, wear a backpack, and take a sack lunch!

Driving there this morning, I asked him what he wanted to be when he grows up.  A dentist.  Such a suck up ;-)

There was much planning on E's behalf.  I enrolled her in a class with children younger than her so she'd fit in better.  I requested a lovely teacher and good friend of a friend, Teri, that had the experience of a newly adopted Chinese girl in her room a couple years prior.  Of course, we attended Meet the Teacher so she'd be familiar with the room.  I called Mrs. Teri and spoke with her at length yesterday about assistance with food, sign language, changing of bibs, leaving her in a diaper, her demeanor, and my meager expectations.

(She was way more into her lunchbag than taking this picture.)

Well... Everlee ran right into her classroom!  She didn't notice me slip out and Teri encouraged me to do so.  I didn't make a scene of the bye-bye, because I wasn't sure how she'd react.  I left my cell and asked her to text me if E had a hard time.  My phone was silent!  After, I was assured by several sets of supportive eyes that she did well all morning.

I headed to Flowertown and volunteered in Beck's class.  An enjoyable way to show Beck his importance to me during this time when he often gets the back burner.  

Back in my Wednesday groove.

My special splurge?  A delectable take out order from the Greek place. I snarfed that gryo blissfully in the car minutes before the littles' pick up.  Amazing what some tzatziki sauce and a few hours without chasing can do for the soul!

Everlee lit up when I came back to get her.  Radiated happiness.  Ran to me, dimples extra pronounced.  That was a great feeling.  One that makes this whole new life worth every trial.    

 

Honeymoon Woes

My honeymoon period with Everlee temporarily ended this past weekend.  We had a four day courtesy of Uncle Sam, and considering E's been doing unusually well, we headed to Florida.  Nate and Vanessa were hosting a lobster fest to reveal their baby's gender, and our besties JaNae' and Steve hadn't met her yet.  That was importante a mi.  She was not "bad" or out of character, but our typical weekend with family was vastly different and I began resenting how she took me away from my boys.  Her defiance has picked up too, probably because she feels more and more comfortable with us.  She is adopted.  She is two.  She is learning.  I am aware of all of these factors.  But, selfishly, I struggled with her this weekend.  It's my own issue, and I was over it by the time we arrived home.  The time away was simply not the way it used to be.  Shocker, Jess.  The five of us were too often divided, like we weren't there together.  Being home is easier.  Home already has a new routine, so I don't feel it here.  Oh, how I felt it there!

One of the biggest issues I have is reminding myself that her physical age is not her developmental age. I have to stop seeing her as she looks and retrain my brain to see her as a 1-year-old.  Although close to Penn in age, I can not expect the same behavior.  I. Have. To. Remind. Myself.

When I observed my nephew, Jaxon, I did not think twice about his touching of wine bottles on display, throwing toys around, or rummaging through the cabinets.  When she did the same, it would get under my skin.  In actuality, they are in a similar stage of development.  She's been so unexposed for so long, that every little thing gets her attention.  And it should.

The other thing about E is how BUSY she is.  She's all over the place.  Anyone who's around us for more than three minutes comments on it.  She doesn't stop moving and she doesn't focus for long.  It all stems back to her lack of environmental exposure.  She's just so curious.  We try to read daily, but she hasn't sat for more than a minute.  She sees something else, gets down, and moves on.  She's trying to make up for lost time!  It is appropriate and expected, but boy is it tiring on Mom and Dad.  And it drains the boys too.  

Don't we all wish the honeymoon would last forever?